


WTF Caitlin???

by orphan_account



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Barry doesn't fuck with the timeline in this AU, Caitlin Snow multishipping, Caitlin is just gettin' around, Eventual SnowBarry, F/F, F/M, Humor, I did my best, Snowbarry Valentine 2017, multiple Barry Allens, this is sort of a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:22:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9705176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Or alternatively titled, "The One Where Barry Finds Out Caitlin's Secret Kink"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jaitje](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaitje/gifts).



> If you guys multiship Caitlin, but your OTP is Snowbarry, then this is the fic for you!

It was a few days after Zoom had been taken by the time wraiths that Team Flash plus Wally and Iris decided to celebrate not dying with drinks.

  
“I still can’t believe that Jay wasn’t Jay,” Cisco said, still shaking his head in disbelief.

  
“No wonder he told me never to call his name out in bed,” Caitlin mumbled under her breath.

  
Iris raised an eyebrow. “For real?”

  
Caitlin shrugged. “I was a bit too distracted to think about it.”

  
Barry contained his disgust to the best of his ability. The idea of Hunter touching Cait like that made him feel sick.

  
“I don’t miss him,” Caitlin said, her gaze thoughtful. “But I do miss the sex.”

  
Barry choked on his drink.

  
Wally raised his glass in solidarity. “I feel ya. It’s not like you want a relationship or anything, but you just want to feel _good_ for a bit, right?”

  
Caitlin enthusiastically nodded. “Exactly!”

  
“But I can’t exactly have a one night stand. Now that I’m a speedster, I’m just scared that I’ll do something to give it away,” Wally lamented.

  
Caitlin slowly put her glass down and there was a look in her eye that Barry had never seen before. “That’s right. You’re a speedster now.”

  
Wally ducked his head. “It’s gonna take a bit of getting used to.”

  
“I’ve slept with a speedster before,” Caitlin murmured. Her finger gently stroked the back of Wally’s hand.

  
Barry’s jaw dropped.

  
Wally lifted his head and looked her over. “You have, haven’t you?”

  
She hummed. “There’s nothing you can do that will surprise me.”

  
Wally smiled. “Are you sure?”

  
“We can be adults about this. Just two friends helping each other out, right?”

  
Wally pulled a few bills out of his pocket and got up from the table. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” He grabbed Caitlin’s hand and they lightly jogged to the door.

  
“Can you use your speed to take us to my place….?” Caitlin’s voice drifted from the street.

  
Barry’s head swiveled from the table to the door and back again.

  
“What just happened?” he gasped.

  
Iris shrugged. “Wally and Caitlin just become really good friends.”

  
He turned to her. “And you’re OK with this?”

  
Iris gave him a startled look. “I don’t control him, Barry. Besides, Caitlin is a sweet girl and I hope they have fun.”

  
“Gosh, Barry, don’t be a prude. They are two consenting adults,” Cisco said.

  
Barry scolded himself and spent the rest of the night chatting up his two good friends. What did it matter to him? Caitlin wasn’t dating Barry and he didn’t have the right to slut shame her for having needs.

  
But in his mind one question just kept repeating.

  
_What the fuck, Caitlin?_

* * *

 

The night that started Caitlin and Wally’s friendship irritated Barry.

  
Caitlin Snow had lost her husband only a year before and when she had finally realized that she needed to move on with her life, her rebound guy turned out to be an evil speedster who wanted to kill all of her friends. He didn’t want Wally to be another guy who broke Caitlin’s heart.

  
So Barry Allen assigned himself to the prestigious job of Caitlin’s Cock Blocker. For Caitlin’s sake, of course.

  
Wally needs a ride home? Weird, so does Barry.

  
Caitlin wants to run another physical exam on Wally? Now that Caitlin brought the topic up, suddenly Barry needed a physical exam too.

  
Wally wanted to show Caitlin and Cisco how fast he could go? Barry of the house Allen hereby challenges you to a race.

  
And to Barry’s immense relief, two weeks of studying Wally and Caitlin’s interactions provided no conclusive results except that they were indeed friends.

  
Weirdly enough, _Iris_ was now friends with Caitlin.

  
Iris made a joke about _Caitlin and Wally getting to know each other_ and from then on out Iris and Caitlin would text each other throughout the day. Barry had never been really interested in how women become friends with each other, but he was pretty sure how Iris and Caitlin’s friendship came to be was pretty fucking unique on that fact alone.

  
After about two weeks Barry let the whole thing go once he realized Caitlin’s heart was safe. The Wally-and-Caitlin jokes were old and the event seemed to have faded from everyone’s minds as bigger and more important things happened.

  
Like Jesse and Harry coming back.

  
One stress filled minute of Team Flash guessing ‘who’s trying to destroy the multiverse now?’ Jesse and Harry finally answered: no one.

  
The same incident that made Wally a speedster also did the same thing to Jesse. As far as she knew, she was the only speedster on her Earth. With no one to teach her what she needed to know or to closely monitor her condition besides her father, they had decided to go back to Earth 1.

  
“Show us what you got,” Cisco said, a bright grin on his face, eager to compare her powers to Barry and Wally.

  
Jesse sped around the room, her body just a pale blur around the room until she stumbled in front of Caitlin.

  
“Whoa! Are you alright?” Caitlin asked as she helped Jesse up.

  
“That’s why we came back,” Harry said, coming over to check his daughter over for injuries. “She keeps having fainting spells when she runs.”

  
Cisco jumped up and started going on about the energy bars Caitlin had made for Barry to stop him from burning out while Caitlin helped Jesse into the desk chair.

  
“No, Caitlin, I’m fine. Just give me a second.” Jesse brushed off Caitlin’s hands and leaned back in the desk chair.

  
“We can’t just give her the stuff we give Barry,” Cisco said.

  
Harry’s face tensed. “And why not?”

  
“We made them specifically modified to Barry and Wally. As in, average sized males. Not a tiny female like Jesse,” Caitlin explained. “But it won’t take long to make a batch that wouldn’t accidentally send her system into shock. I have the files right here.”

  
Caitlin went to her lab to pull up the formulas on her computer and took Harry and Cisco with her.

  
Jesse rubbed her hand against her temple and groaned.

  
“You OK?” Barry asked as he went up to her.

  
She grimaced. “I’m good. I could kill for some fries right now.”

  
Barry hummed in agreement. “I remember that. You should probably eat something.”

  
Caitlin’s heels clicked on the floor as she returned to them. “Are you still feeling dizzy?” she asked.

  
Jesse nodded. “You don’t have an Arthur’s on this Earth, do you?” At Barry and Caitlin’s blank looks she sighed. “It’s the best fast food place where I’m from.”

  
Caitlin smiled at Jesse in a way that reminded Barry of how Linda smiled at Iris. “On this Earth Big Belly Burger is considered the best.”

  
Jesse smiled back at Caitlin. “I could give it a shot.”

  
Caitlin’s smile slipped. “I’m not sure if we can go now. We probably shouldn’t leave the team while-,”

  
“Caitlin,” Barry said with a smile. He knew the expression on Jesse’s face too well from growing up with Iris. Whenever Iris got like that she would invite one of her BFFs over or go out with them and then come back next morning still exhilarated from her girl time.“I think Harry will be fine with you two going to lunch.” Maybe Caitlin just needed some more friends who were girls, and Jesse seemed nice enough. If he could make Caitlin Snow happy by being a friendship pimp, then he’d do it.

  
Jesse nodded her agreement, but Caitlin still looked unsure. “Well, if you’re sure...”

  
Barry waved his hand at her. “It’s fine. In fact,” he said, a smile brightening his face too. “Why don’t you guys have a girls’ night?” He hoped that Caitlin and Jesse would take his suggestion. Whenever Caitlin showed up at STAR Labs happy she would always greet him with a cheerful smile and, if he was lucky, a hug. “There’s that club that Linda and Iris go to a lot. L Word? Have you heard about it?”

  
Caitlin’s eyes widened. “I have.” Her voice sounded choked up, and Barry wondered if Caitlin had drank enough water. “Surprised you have though. It’s not really your type of place.”

  
Jesse smiled. “That sounds fun.”

  
Caitlin grabbed her jacket and went into her lab to tell Harry and Cisco where her and Jesse were going off to.

  
“Well Jesse,” Caitlin said, linking elbows with Jesse. “Let’s do what Barry said and let’s party like Iris and Linda.”

  
Caitlin’s heels clicked down the hallway as hers and Jesse’s voices eventually faded into nothing. Barry stared after them, happy with his accomplishment.

* * *

 

He was such an idiot.

  
The next morning Caitlin and Jesse walked back to STAR Labs together.

  
Holding hands.

  
With matching hickeys.

  
His jaw fucking dropped as Caitlin gave him a smirk when she caught him staring at her exposed neck. Jesse giggled.

  
“What the fuck, Caitlin?” he mumbled.

  
“What was that, Barry?” Caitlin asked, tearing her eyes away from where Jesse was comfortably leaning against the wall with half lidded eyes.

  
He cleared his throat. “How did this happen?” To his humiliation his voice came out as a strained whisper.

  
Caitlin’s smile turned dreamy. “We went to that club you said to go to. And we partied like Iris and Linda.” She winked at him.

  
“Thanks for the suggestion, Barry,” Jesse said.

  
“I don’t think Iris and Linda-,” he stopped. “Oh my god.” And suddenly the reason for Iris’ revolving door of BFFs in high school made sense.

  
He didn’t friendship pimp Caitlin, he _pimp_ pimped Caitlin.

  
“Oh my god.”

  
He looked at Caitlin and once he got over the, in retrospect, blatantly obvious fact about the closest women in his life, he felt a little upset that Caitlin hadn’t hugged him that morning when she came in.

* * *

 

 

For a month Barry was treated to Jesse hogging Caitlin.

  
The seat next to Caitlin that Barry always took when they went to the karaoke bar was suddenly filled with a certain female speedster. Leaving Barry to be squished between Cisco and Iris, the latter of which was sending heart emojis to Linda. How Barry had completely missed that relationship was still a wonder to him.

  
It made Barry a little jealous how Jesse got Caitlin to let loose on the dance floor. Barry knew Caitlin longer and better, and Jesse barely knew her. Caitlin was his closest friend after Iris. He should know all the tricks to get her to smile like that. Bros before hoes, right? Or at least the less sexist version of that. But no, a little bump and grind from Jesse had Caitlin giggling like a kid at the zoo.

  
When Caitlin came back to the table for a drink, Barry tried to keep his bitterness out of his voice. “You seem really happy with Jesse.”

  
Caitlin gave him an amused look before downing her shot. “She’s nice and the sex is amazing.”

  
Barry choked on his soda.

  
Caitlin sighed happily, and looked to the karaoke stage where Wally and Jesse were about to start a song. “Her and Wally are cute together.”

  
Barry swallowed. “I thought you and her…?”

  
Caitlin giggled and shook her head. “It’s just a fling, Barry. We both knew what we were getting into. And look.” She pointed to the stage where Wally had stopped looking at the screen to stare at Jesse as they sang their duet. “I can see this coming a mile away.”

  
Barry observed the two of them, singing on that stage in the same way that he and Caitlin had almost two years earlier when their friendship was so new yet already so strong. Except of course that their song was a love song…..OK maybe ‘Summer Lovin’’ was _technically_ a love song, but it didn’t matter because Barry and Caitlin were _just_ friends.  
Barry couldn’t stop his smile when Wally put his arm around Jesse and walked out with her before waving them all goodbye.

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t until Cisco said something that Barry noticed the pattern.

  
“It’s weird. First J- I mean Hunter, then Wally, and now Jesse?” Cisco smiled and shook his head. “If I didn’t know any better I would think that Caitlin had a thing for speedsters.”

  
Barry’s head shot up.

  
“Did you just say ‘speedsters’?”

* * *

 

 

For a few days Barry threw around the idea of Caitlin’s type being speedsters.

  
It was ridiculous, there was no way that was true. It was probably just a coincidence that the last three people she had slept with all so happen to have had super speed.

  
If she really was interested in speedsters, then logically she would try to sleep with him. And Caitlin didn’t want to sleep with Barry.

  
Right?

  
Barry studied Caitlin as much as he could and analyzed every interaction. Every cheerful ‘hello’ was examined for an ulterior motive. Every smile that went his way was compared to the smiles she sent Iris and Cisco. Her hugs sent Barry into an hour long session of pondering on whether Caitlin was sending him subtle signals that she wanted to take a ride on his speed force.

  
Her ‘hellos’ seemed innocent enough. So far, nothing on that front.

  
Her smiles had the same warmth for him as they did for the others. But Caitlin was just a naturally kind person. Results drew inconclusive.

  
The hugs she gave him on her good days….OK those stumped him. Those only seemed to be something she shared with him. But she never hugged Wally or Jesse and she was never overtly affectionate when she was with Hunter. She treated him differently than the speedsters she had slept with. By that conclusion Caitlin Snow didn’t want to sleep with him.

  
So far he had results telling him Caitlin wasn’t interested in how surprisingly slow he was in bed.

  
Obviously, those results couldn’t be right. He needed more data.

  
When he got hurt fighting a _porcupine_ metahuman, of all things, he took the opportunity to watch her as she patched him up. The legend has it that nurses had a thing for injured hot men and vise verse. Surely if Caitlin was 100% down to fuck speedsters and therefore down to fuck Barry she would jump his bones when she was doing her doctor mumbo jumbo on him.

  
Dr. Snow was graceful in her element as she mopped up the blood that had crusted on his cheek.

  
Barry’s eyes drifted shut. Were her hands always that soft?

  
“You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?” she teased.

  
He smiled at her in an easy going manner, not wanting to let her see the soothing affect her touch had on him. “Fine, just a little tired.”

  
It was partially the truth. He was tired. Tired of wondering if Caitlin Snow had a secret kink. Tired of wondering if Caitlin felt -

  
Her warm brown eyes melted into gentleness. “I’m almost done getting you cleaned up. You can take a nap here when I’m finished.”

  
On the hospital bed? Where Dr. Snow took care of her constant patient? Barry was right, Caitlin had Florence Nightingale syndrome.

  
OK well whatever floated Caitlin’s boat...

  
She bit her lip as she slowly cleaned.

  
Fuck, her mouth was pretty.

  
She bent down even closer to his face and her close proximity set his heart into a gallop.

  
This was it. This was her move.

  
He parted his lips, but didn’t take his eyes off of hers.

  
She smiled.

  
She was gonna kiss him, right then and th-

  
“OK, you’re all done.”

  
His jaw came back up with a snap and he watched her every stride as she turned around to throw away the bloody gauze.

  
She gave him a clean bill of health and then excused herself to answer a text from Iris.

  
He could barely respond to her since it had just hit him why he was so interested in knowing if Caitlin had a thing for speedsters.

  
God fucking damn it he wanted to bang Caitlin.

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure when it happened exactly. It could’ve been any time between first seeing her before the particle accelerator went online and seeing her walk out with Wally, but Barry Allen wanted to show Cait all of his moves.

  
Whether or not Caitlin wanted him the same impossible to ignore way that he wanted her was still up for debate. He wasn’t sure if it was his obvious bias making everything confusing for him or not. He couldn’t exactly ask Cisco for help in his mission to fuck their mutual best friend. That would certainly make time at STAR Labs awkward.

  
He decided that he had to seduce Dr. Snow himself and see what happens.

* * *

 

 

Caitlin liked speedsters? He’d show her a speedster.

  
A few days after his ‘I want her scientifically perfect body on top of mine’ revelation the perfect opportunity arose when they were the last ones at STAR Labs.

  
“Caitlin?” he called out to her, strolling into the cortex with a grin. “Do you mind timing me? I think I’ve gotten faster.”

  
She smiled back at him like the two of them were in on a secret. “You just want to make sure Jesse and Wally don’t beat your fastest time.” She got up from her chair behind the computer to retrieve the stopwatch from the bin.

  
He chuckled. “You got me.” Holy fucking shit was that skirt usually so tight? He’d seen that office skirt on her before, but surely he would’ve remembered such a clingy material showing off every curve of her ass.

  
When they got to the pipeline track, Caitlin took bent her leg to take off her heels. Barry’s eyes traced up her leg and caught a glimpse of her upper thigh.

  
She looked up at him with a bright smile. “Sorry I just couldn’t get out of those fast enough.”

  
Barry tried to keep his face neutral. If Caitlin was already taking her clothes off then his seduction plan was already off to a great start.

  
“I’m ready when you are,” she said.

  
Barry took off like a bullet and ran around the entire track the standard one hundred times.

  
He stopped right in front of her, where she was giggling and trying to pat down her hair that had been blown back by Barry’s speed. “How did I do?” he asked, breathing heavily.

  
Her face scrunched up as she recalled previous times from memory. “Not your fastest time, but it is faster than your average time.”

  
“So I’m getting faster?”

  
Caitlin pondered for a moment. “Maybe. Or you just had a good day.”

  
Barry saw his opening and took it. “Of course I had a good day, I spent most of it with you.”

  
Caitlin gently shoved him. “You’re such a sap.”

  
He grabbed his shoulder. “Ah!” He winced, playing up the part of being wounded.

  
“Are you OK?” she asked. The guilt in her eyes made him feel bad for doing this, but if it would get him Caitlin Snow sexy naked times he would fucking do it.

  
He rolled his shoulder and inhaled in a hiss. “I think I pulled something.” His acting _can’t_ be that good.

  
“Hold still.” She placed her hands delicately yet firmly on his arm and neck. She leaned in

  
Her close proximity was making planning his next steps really hard. Her breath on his exposed skin and her perfume scent made his eyes close.

  
“Where does it hurt?”

  
He swallowed and tried to keep the tremor from his voice. “It doesn’t hurt now that you’re touching me.”

  
Caitlin bit her lip and narrowed her eyes at his shoulder. “Maybe it just needs pressure.”

  
“I can think of a lot of places you can put pressure on me.”

  
Her concern showed on her face. “Where else are you hurting?”

  
He grinned at her. Showtime. “You’re making it hurt right here.” He took her hand off his arm and placed on his chest over his beating heart.

  
Caitlin snickered and her eyes lit up. “Very funny, Barry.”

  
This was it, Caitlin Snow was gonna rock his world.

  
She took her hands off of him and stepped back, reclaiming her heels before stepping into the hallway.

  
Wait, what?

  
She shook her head playfully at him. “If you put your energy more into getting faster and less into making jokes you might stay ahead of Jesse and Wally.”

  
Barry stood there blinking. Was Caitlin flirting with him or what?

  
“Where are you going?” he asked. He kept up his smile. Was this one of her games?

  
“I’ve got to finish compiling Jesse’s stats into the STAR Labs database before I go.”

  
He started walking down the hallway with her. Now he was confused. “How long are you staying?”

  
She shrugged. “Not too long, but don’t wait up for me.” They reached the cortex and Caitlin sat back down in front of the computers. She turned her head over her shoulder to wave to him.

“Goodnight, Barry!”

  
Barry opened his mouth to say something. He then closed it.

  
Caitlin Snow didn’t seduce him and did not notice the massive signals he was sending her.

  
He changed into his civilian clothes and left. 

* * *

 

 

It only took him a few minutes to come to his final conclusion.

  
Caitlin Snow just wasn’t into Barry.

  
It hadn’t even crossed his mind, but now that it had he felt like a dick. How arrogant was it for him to assume that a few innuendos and Caitlin would slide her panties down her smooth legs? Caitlin deserved a better friend than him, that’s for sure.

  
She probably wasn’t even attracted to him at all. She had spent the better part of a year taking care of his comatose self, she was probably desensitized to the sight of his body in any context.

  
Even the sexy kind.

  
It didn’t matter that Barry wanted to rub his hands slowly down her exposed back, she didn’t want him and he’d have to get over it.

  
Because Caitlin Snow just wasn’t attracted to Barry like he was to her.

* * *

 

 

It was just two days later that another surprise guest came through the multiverse.

  
Barry Allen crashed through a portal and landed in the STAR Labs parking lot, ice clinging to his red suit and unconscious.

  
Caitlin and Cisco immediately sprang into action and got him to the infirmary, while Barry Allen watched them and immediately tried to figure out the other version of himself had come from.

  
It was either himself from the future or a Barry Allen from another universe. The Barry Allen being tended to for ice burns by Caitlin had a small puckered scar under his eye and shorter hair.

  
When Caitlin was done with him, the three of them conversed in the cortex.

  
“He’s gonna be fine. Super healing started kicking in,” Caitlin said.

  
Barry couldn’t take his eyes off of his own sleeping form. “I can’t tell if he’s here for a reason or by accident.”

  
Caitlin shrugged. “We’ll just have to ask him when he wakes up. Until then, let’s just monitor our sensors to make sure no one followed him through.”

  
“Cisco!” the other Barry yelled.

  
The team shared a look before rushing to the infirmary. Caitlin put her hand on Barry to stop him, and Barry reminded himself that _Caitlin was not and will never be into him_.

  
“We don’t know where or when he’s from. He might freak out if he sees you.”

  
The other Barry was lying upright on the cot, and staring intently at Cisco.

  
“Cisco, what happened? Did we get her?”

  
Barry stepped aside and realized Caitlin was probably right. If this was a future version of himself, he didn’t want to interact with him more than he had to.

  
Cisco removed the other Barry’s hands off of him. “Who is ‘her’?”

  
Caitlin sprang into action and went up to the other Barry with her pen light.

  
Other Barry jumped off the bed and pushed Cisco behind him.

  
“Killer Frost!”

  
The other Barry had Caitlin pressed up against the wall, her hands behind her back before anyone could blink.

  
Barry grabbed the other Barry by the arms and tossed him to the ground. The other him skid against the floor and stopped at Cisco’s feet.

  
Barry looked over Caitlin. “Cait, are you OK? Are you hurt?”

  
She shook her head. “Barry, I’m fine.”

  
Other Barry couldn’t get his mouth to close and vomited half sentences everywhere. “He’s….that’s….I’m sorry, what?”

  
Caitlin waved off Barry to check the speedster on the ground. She pulled out her flashlight and checked the other Barry’s pupils.

  
“No signs of a concussion that I can see,” she concluded, the only voice in the quiet room. “Surprisingly enough.”

  
“I’m on another Earth, right?” Other Barry said.

  
Barry breathed a sigh of relief that in the future he wouldn’t have problems with not body slamming his doctor friend into a wall. Only exception being foreplay.

  
“Welcome to Earth 1,” Cisco said.

  
Other Barry frowned. “No, I’m from Earth 1. This is Earth 3.”

  
The Barry that was _definitely_ from Earth 1 also frowned. “No. We’ve named this Earth, ‘Earth 1’, we went to Earth 2 last year and unless you’ve heard Jay Garrick being the Flash, you’re from Earth 4.....”

  
“Too bad, _my_ Cisco and I already decided to call our Earth, ‘Earth 1’. You’re Earth 3.”

  
The Earth 1 Cisco had already grown tired of the exchange.

  
“I really don’t care what the Earths are called. Caitlin and I just want to know how this Barry got here.”

  
The Barry that was definitely from Earth 4 finally spoke. “The Justice League and the Suicide Squad are at war with each other.” At their blank stares, Earth 4 Barry elaborated. “You know, the league of super heroes that protect the Earth and the group of villains turned anti-heroes?” Still more blank stares. “No?”

  
“You thought I was Killer Frost,” Caitlin spoke up. Her expression was closed off and icy, but Barry knew she was reliving her time being imprisoned with the Earth 2 Caitlin Snow.

  
Earth 4 Barry looked remorseful when he looked at her. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” Caitlin waved his apology away. “Killer Frost is the newest member of the Suicide Squad. Vibe and I have been tasked with taking her out specifically, but she’s tough.”

  
“I can believe that,” Earth 1 Barry said, trying to picture Killer Frost, but seeing only Caitlin.

  
“Her cold blasts make my powers useless and there’s only so many icicles Vibe can deflect. Vibe had come up with this idea to just keep moving to minimize the effects of her cold blasts while Cisco opens up portals to confuse her.” He smiled a little grimly. “I guess I went a little too fast and ended up going through one of his portals.”

  
Cisco chuckled. “Barry going _too_ fast? That’s a first.”

  
Both speedsters glared at him.

  
Cisco held up his hands. “OK, not funny across the multiverse either.” He started backing away slowly. “I’ll just go do some…..tinkering.”

  
Caitlin put her stuff away and made to leave.

  
“Wait,” Earth 4 Barry called. “You’re not gonna leave me here by myself, are you?”

  
Caitlin cracked a grin and looked between the two of them. “Well if you two want to play Candyland….”

  
Before she could finish Earth 1 Barry got out the game and the picnic blanket.

* * *

 

 

“I’m ticklish.”

  
Earth 4 Barry sighed. “I don’t think I can take down Killer Frost by tickling her.”

  
Somewhere between the second and third round, Earth 4 Barry had started asking Caitlin any information she might know that could possibly take down her Earth 4 counterpart. While it had frustrated Earth 1 Barry that another version of him was using precious Cait Time to talk about battle strategy rather than ask her if she’d come across any new fun facts lately, he had let Earth 4 Barry continue when Caitlin had seemed fine with it.

  
Cait shrugged. “You never know when it might come in handy.”

  
Earth 1 Barry chuckled. “It certainly came in handy a few months ago during this pillow fight the three of us had-”

  
His phone’s phone’s ringtone blared through the cortex.

  
Earth 1 Barry got off of the picnic blanket on the floor and went to retrieve his phone.

  
He sighed, and looked back at his doppelgänger and Caitlin. “It’s Iris, I gotta take this.”

  
“Barry, so glad I caught you! Hypothetically, of course, how would one get a porn virus off of a work computer?”

  
Barry swallowed. There were some things he just didn’t want to know about what Iris and Linda got up to.

  
It took him about ten minutes to connect Iris with Felicity, and another two minutes to get himself convinced that the entire exchange didn’t actually happen and was all a dream.

  
By the time he got back, Caitlin and the other Barry were smiling, and Caitlin was biting her lip.

  
Caitlin turned to smile at him, and all was right in the world.

  
Cisco walked back into the cortex wiping grease off of his hands with a rag. “I’m almost done, but I’m gonna need Earth 4 Barry-”

  
“I’m _Earth 1_ Barry!”

  
“-to come with me for a bit. I need to do some vibe stuff.”

  
The Barry that was from Earth 4 no matter what he liked to call it looked hesitantly at Caitlin. She smirked at him. “Don’t worry I don’t think it will be long. Besides, I have to talk to my Barry.”

  
The other Barry went with Cisco while _her_ Barry sat down next to her. If having multiple versions of Barry got Caitlin to call him _hers_ , then he would gladly fuck up the timeline just to make it happen.

  
“Hey Caitlin.”

  
She smiled shyly. “Hey Barry.”

  
The way she was looking at him told him that something was on her mind. “What’s up?”

  
“We’re friends, right Barry?”

  
He gulped, the look in her eyes almost predatory. “I would certainly say so.” He was too far gone in her gaze to be embarrassed at his suddenly high pitched voice.

  
“Would you be OK if I slept with you?”

  
Lights shone from above, angels were serenading them and tossing rose petals on top of them. Life suddenly had a meaning and villains could beat him up all they wanted because he really couldn’t give a shit because he would know what was between Dr. Caitlin motherfucking Snow’s thighs.

  
“Would you mind if I slept with you?”

  
“Of course not! Sleep away!” Oh God he was so pathetic….

  
She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness you’re so cool about this. I thought you’d think it’s too weird.”

  
“Not at all.”

  
He was certain that the words ‘FUCK ME’ were painted on his forehead as he started to lean forward.

  
“I can send you back right now if you want,” Cisco’s voice interrupted him.

  
Barry was gonna open up the damn multiverse himself and throw Cisco in it.

  
“No, no. Caitlin was gonna show me _exactly_ how to deal with Killer Frost.”

  
Caitlin jumped up from her spot next to him and put her hands on Earth 4 Barry’s arm. “We can leave right now if you want. Barry said it’s fine.”

  
Barry’s jaw dropped.

  
Earth 4 Barry gave him a nod and a shit eating grin and Earth 1 Barry had the urge to murder himself. His other self.

  
Caitlin got her coat on and waved goodbye. “Bye guys! See you in the morning!”

  
Cisco and Earth 1 Barry stood in silence.

  
“What the fuck, Caitlin?” Cisco said.

  
She wouldn't sleep with _Barry_ , but she would sleep with…. _Barry??_

  
“Yeah, what the fuck Caitlin?!?”

* * *

 

 

Barry’s headache that was caused by pounding his head into the wall went away quickly due to his super healing.

  
Nothing made sense anymore, God hated him, and the universe was probably taking out some sort of revenge on him for something.

  
His alternative universe self had done the frick frack paddy whack with Caitlin.

  
To say he was jealous of himself was the weirdest sentence he’d ever thought.

  
When Caitlin and the Barry that was going to be tossed harshly into Earth 4 or 1 or whatever he called his Earth returned the next morning, Barry had calmed down a little to realize that he had an opportunity to help someone.

  
Caitlin and Cisco were doing final checks on the device that would magnify Cisco’s powers when Barry walked up to his parallel counterpart.

  
“Caitlin likes tequila mixed with lemonade, but gin will do,” Barry said. Earth 4 Barry looked at him confused. “A liquored up Killer Frost might be easier to talk to.”

  
“What are you-?”

  
“Oh! The 6th Harry Potter movie is her favorite, and while she usually lets you eat all the popcorn, maybe let her hold the bag the first time.” Barry smiled, remembering that movie night a year ago when Cisco had gotten so fed up with Barry hogging all the popcorn that he had shoved Barry’s head into the bowl.

  
“Why are you telling me this?” Earth 4 Barry asked, but since his mouth was starting to curl into a smile, Earth 1 Barry figured he was starting to get where this was going.

  
“Because I know Caitlin Snow. She’s one of my best friends and if there’s a version of Caitlin Snow somewhere in the multiverse that I can help, I’m gonna do it.”

  
Earth 4 Barry just looked at him, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. “You want me to make nice with Killer Frost.”

  
“She also speaks French, you might want to learn-,”

  
“You’re in love with her.”

  
“-some French pick up lines.” Earth 1 Barry smiled. Then he registered what the parallel version of himself had said. He frowned and rubbed his chest. “Huh, so it wasn’t just me being horny.”

  
“What?”

  
“Nothing. Long story. Point is, you gotta help Killer Frost.”

  
Earth 4 Barry looked at the Caitlin Snow from Earth 1 sadly. “But they’re so different. It’s impossible.”

  
Earth 1 Barry wasn’t going to give up. “I met another parallel version of Caitlin, called herself Killer Frost. She was a psychotic villain, but deep under all that ice she was still the Caitlin Snow I know here.” Barry waved off the guilt he still felt at leaving that Caitlin Snow to die, and tried desperately to convince his counterpart to not let any version of Caitlin end up like she did. “You just gotta convince her that she can still be good, give her a chance.”

  
Earth 4 Barry looked contemplative, and scratched the back of his head nervously, accidentally showing Earth 1 Barry a hickey. Earth 1 Barry tried not to let that affect him….

  
_Tried_ being the operative word.

  
“OK, I’ll talk to the rest of the Justice League about getting Killer Frost on our side.” Earth 1 Barry closed his eyes, his relief taking a bit of the weight off of his shoulders.

  
He didn’t even mind it too much when Caitlin had kissed Earth 4 Barry goodbye. He was gonna need Caitlin Snow kissing experience if he was gonna convince Killer Frost to do anything.

* * *

 

 

“Caitlin, I just have to know.”

  
The next Saturday after Earth 4 Barry went home, Caitlin and the Earth 1 Barry were walking out of STAR Labs together after Cisco opted to stay for a little while longer.

  
“Know what?”

  
“Why speedsters?”

  
“What?” Her face got a little flushed, and that fact alone was enough for Barry to get through his question.

  
“What’s up with your thing with sleeping with speedsters? Fake Jay, Wally, Jesse, and me.” He almost choked on his own tongue. “I mean other me.”

  
Caitlin stopped in her tracks, and a coy smile lit up her face. That smile was dangerous. “It’s hard to explain, but the _energy_ that comes with the sex is _incredible_. I can’t get enough of it.” She gasped. “Oh and don’t get me started on that _little move_ you guys always pull...”

  
Barry blinked. “What move?”

  
Caitlin side eyed him. “You know, _the move_.” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head just thinking about it. “Out of everyone _Jesse_  is the best at it...”

  
“Actually I don’t know.”

  
Caitlin’s jaw dropped open. “How?”

  
Barry self consciously shrugged. “I’ve never slept with anyone who knew I was the Flash. Not exactly a good idea to be showing off speedster sex moves.”

  
Caitlin started walking again. “Maybe one day someone will show you.” 

* * *

 

 

Six months later, Caitlin became _someone_ to him.

  
“How come it took so long to get us here?” Barry asked, his breathing slowing down.

  
Caitlin covered her bare chest with the comforter and rested her chin on his shoulder. “I wanted to make sure that whatever this wouldn’t be a fling. After Ronnie and Zoom….I just needed some time to be young and live free. And I got that.”

  
Barry pressed back her pretty auburn hair that he was now allowed to rub his fingers through. “And now?”

  
Caitlin’s smile was enough to take his breath away again. “And now I’m ready.”


End file.
